Andrew,+Chris,+Becca

Man v. High School Tiger: //(Loud Voice)// Tiger Stoves here, in an unchartered Abington High School, preparing to survive my greatest challenge of all. Thousands of uncivilized adolescents congregate in //(points at building)// that building everyday. //(Walking towards the building)// You’ll be shocked and appalled at the difficulties you will endure in these walls. Every day is a struggle just to survive, so you need to prepare, physically, mentally, and spiritually. (//Camera focuses on failed physics test//). //(Tiger enters the building, begins wandering the halls)// **The first thing I notice as I walk through this school is the blistering heat. It is absolutely brutal! There’s no air conditioning here and that puts me at a severe risk for dehydration. Not six years ago I had a mate who was travelling through the Sahara. He became dehydrated and was mauled to death by a lion in a separate incident.** Tiger: The first step in fighting the heat is to stay hydrated. //(Tiger walks into the boys’ locker room)// Tiger: Now I should be able to find a drink down here. At the end of each period kids are just drenched – absolutely drenched in sweat from exercising so hard. I should be able to extract some of the liquid. //(Tiger begins searching through lockers, eventually finds a dirty shirt.)// Tiger: Aw come here, look at this! Jackpot! An absolute jackpot! //(Tiger proceeds to attempt to wring out any sweat left in the shirt, only to realize that the shirt is bone dry.)// That’s odd, there should most definitely be sweat in this – I’ll have to try my luck elsewhere. (//Cut to another camera angle//. //Camera rolls as he is walking past cafeteria and sees an iced tea puddle in front of a water fountain)// Hey guys come have a look! //(Tiger gets down on the ground and calls over camera)// This is a high school delicacy; a literal oasis for rejuvenation. Spills like this are often neglected, so use them to your greatest advantage. They are immensely helpful and full of the sugars and vitamins you need to survive. //(Tiger gets down on his knees and starts licking up the ice tea. The camera is angled at his back, and while he is on his knees someone else steps over him and drinks from the water fountain.//) Tiger: Ahh, not the best thing I’ve ever tasted, but it gets the job done. Let’s keep going. //(Tiger is crawling on the floor of a classroom, searching the bottoms of the desks.)// Tiger: Luckily, schools like this are known for frequent edible chewing deposits. I reckon this room will have gum to sustain my hunger. Blimey! //(Beckons to camera)// Are you getting this? //(Camera zooms in on a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of a desk)// //(Tiger slowly pulls the gum off of the desk until it snaps and he has some in his hand.)// You can tell how fresh it is by its stickiness, and given the levels of moisture found in this one, I’d reckon that it’s no more than thirty minutes old. //(Tiger starts stretching out the gum, working with it, presumably to soften it up)// I know it’s not pretty, but a piece as perfect as this can sustain me for at //least// the next couple of hours. (//Tiger puts the gum in his mouth and makes a disgusted face.)// Tiger: It’s 2:34 and I am in the most deadly section of the whole school – I need to get out of here before I get caught. **It’s getting late and I will want to start looking for shelter. I went to try and sleep where the locals usually do, but they rejected me as not one of their own.** //(Tiger enters the library, camera pans around showing that it is completely empty.)// Tiger: Oh boys, come get a look at this – beautiful, open terrain. Absolutely gorgeous. //(A librarian walks sternly up to him)// Tiger: Oh look, the alphafemale is approaching – marking her territory. Librarian: The library is closed, you must leave now. Tiger: The local wildlife is even more territorial than I had ever imagined possible. Tiger: I’m running out of options here, I’m going to be forced to make do with what I can find. Wait! D’you recognize that beastly stench? Cigarettes! This smell should lead us right to shelter. //(Tiger excitedly hurries down the hallway and spots the bathroom door. Tiger enters, only to find the place inhabited with smokers.)// Jolly good! //(The smokers hurriedly hide their cigarettes, waiting for Tiger to leave. Tiger opens a stall door and proceeds to wedge himself in between the toilet and the wall.)// Not pretty at all, in the least, but… I’m gonna have to do it. There’s no choice. It’s gonna be my worst sleep yet. // (Roll Credits) //
 * [Voiceovers in bold] **
 * I haven’t eaten in hours now, and the hunger is really starting to get to me. **